I am a first-grade teacher at Beasley Elementary in the Mehlville School District. I have started an after-school club for children who have experienced the loss of a parent. I am not a therapist, but I do have a common bond with students who have experienced the loss of a parent. My father died due to leukemia when I was nine. He was ill and in and out of the hospital for two years at just 34 years old. Through my experience, I felt I could offer some support and encouragement to these children. I teach them that in life you will go through difficult times and you have the choice to choose: better or bitter.
My goal for this club is to build relationships with other children who have a common bond. The club is a safe place to talk about their feelings, which could be a range of emotions because we all deal with grief in different ways. I aim to provide them with strategies to deal with those feelings.
I want to offer encouragement and hope to remember the good memories they had with their loved ones. We do crafts, listen to books dealing with grief, do mindful exercises and just have a good time building relationships while learning to cope with all the emotions that go with losing a loved one.
First, I researched books, crafts and activities that deal with grief. Annie’s Hope (a center for grieving kids) was a great resource. I provided students with information about camps and meetings which the families could attend in our area. The first year was mostly about building relationships and trust. I wanted them to feel safe and secure in the club so they could open up and speak about their feelings.
We always start each weekly meeting with an informal check-in. How are things at school, at home, on the bus and with friends? We often listen to books about grief and find ways to deal with grief. Going outside and letting them play and interact on their own is essential. We then serve a snack and have an ongoing activity that we work on or make other crafts.
One great and impactful activity is making bags for others who have experienced loss called Family Changes Survival Bags. I got the idea from Pinterest. We have been giving the bags to students and staff at our school who have lost loved ones throughout the year. The most touching part of this activity is to read the heartfelt notes written by the children in the club who have lost a parent, consoling others who have just lost a loved one.
This project is truly what I hoped to accomplish – showing that these children can be a light in someone else’s life who is experiencing grief, instead of feeling sorry for themselves. Let’s learn from our experiences and help others! In turn, this truly helps us cope with our grief! That is why I started this club. I want to help others who have a common bond with me and then have them go out into this world and help others in return. The children love to come to the club. They all get along well and do a lot of laughing, being silly and having fun!