By Kevin Lay
So, there you are, in front of your students, and you can hear the echo of the veteran teachers that have taken you under their wing. Maybe you can hear the professor from your university classes giving you the advice that many others will share. Or that book that you read about developing relationships with students. Can you hear them? Are they telling you not to smile before Christmas? Or maybe they are letting you know it’s better to be feared than loved or to never let students talk without raising their hand. Maybe some advice is coming from the opposite end of that spectrum: to let the students into your life, let everyone talk when they have something to say, or to let them sit and move whenever they want.
So, which one is right? What are you going to do when you start your classroom this year, or when you return from the summer break? Are you thinking about how perfect your classroom will be your first year? Are you hiding in the fetal position remembering some of the moments that you had in class last year and what you are set on doing this year? Here are some ideas to consider no matter what position you’re in:
• Be authentic, be you! No one can be a better you, than…well, YOU! Own that dry sense of humor or those dad jokes. Are you an incredibly energetic teacher? Great! Are you a well-organized person that loves checklists? Then own that! Did you forget to post that important material on Google Classroom? Okay! Get it done when you have the chance to. When you share your quirks and mistakes with students, it lets them know that there will be an expectation of grace in your classroom, beginning with you, and extending to them, because you know that mistakes are made. And that’s okay. The students will appreciate you being authentic and consistent – and the students that you serve are great at recognizing who you are. This may take a little while to figure out how this looks in your classroom and what you’re comfortable with – and that is okay! Take your time, embrace the unique person that you’ve been gifted to be, and have some fun with it!
• Always be conscious of your district’s procedures, protocol, and code of conduct. While we have our own wonderful characteristics and strengths, being in a high school classroom brings about a whole new set of behavioral standards and practices that some middle schools and elementary schools may not face. A lot of us LOVE hugs, and what’s better than getting a hug from one of your students, right? What about a pat on the back, a letter, or a funny joke? While you are not being told that these can’t be done, just give your administration the respect of knowing what is honored and acceptable in your school. Something that may seem so trivial to you could be an important piece that was developed before you arrived and for good reason. Have conversations with your principal, counselor, and school liaisons for any clarification that you may need.
• Be at the door and be present – no matter what! Whether it’s shaking hands (use some hand sanitizer!), high fives, or just a simple hello with some eye-contact, be there to greet them. Yes, you’re trying to get stuff done, maybe getting a last-minute slide prepared, or just a quick break – that’s okay. But for those first few weeks of school, be at the door and make your smiling and welcoming face the first thing they see when they enter your classroom. Those other things can wait if it means that your students get to see you greeting them when they come into your room. The investment of time and effort is incredibly rewarding and is so worth it!
• Ask what’s going on in their lives, and then, listen! What you may hear is the beginning of an incredible story that they are letting you in on. It gives you a point to come back to time and time again. How will you model this? You can begin yourself! Share something good going on in your life, and then, open it up to your students. Whether you do this as a class or one on one, it could be the beginning of something special that they look forward to each and every day they are with you!
• Know their names—you can say you’re bad with names all you want, but students want to know that you took the effort to remember THEM. Don’t be the teacher that doesn’t know their names and says, “Well, I’m just bad with names.” They deserve this. Try and you will succeed.
• Know that they don’t need another friend. They need someone who cares consistently, someone who is a strength in their life. You will not be confiding your deep personal troubles to a student about what’s going on in your life, but they may be doing that to you. There’s a reason why—they trust you. And that’s what you need to develop and foster: a relationship of trust, not friendship. Always be there for them.
• Make them feel comfortable and ask questions about them. Sometimes we have to model this, again and again, to bring that comfort level into the classroom. If they are not comfortable opening up, don’t be frustrated. Be mindful that you are asking young men and women to open up to you, so it may take some time. When they do, they will do it genuinely, and you will be honored to be a witness to this!
• Give personal feedback—try to avoid general feedback when you can. Yes, it takes a little more time, but if you find a strength in their approach, their assignment, or something personal you can connect with, then they will receive affirmation that their ideas are carefully and thoughtfully considered. They are worth it!
Teachers, have fun, be authentic, and get ready to start an important year in the lives of the children you serve! Make relationships a priority, develop a classroom that welcomes questions, and one that promotes an area of growth and discovery. Soon, your classroom will be full of confident students who anticipate being in your class, one that thrives when it comes to solving problems, and truly demonstrates collaborative work!
Kevin Lay is a 9-12 STEM and science teacher at Gasconade Co. R-2. Kevin has been teaching for 17 years and was a 2019-2020 Missouri Teacher of the Year finalist. His loves are God, his wife, his children and the students he’s honored to serve! In his downtime, he enjoys wrestling with his 8-year-old son, Carter and figuring out his 14-year-old daughter, Kendra. Kevin and his family recently started the next chapter of their lives in Florida.